Trump Haircuts, Shrimp Cocktail, and More Unforgettable Moments from the Vietnam Summit

By Evan Vucci/AP/Shutterstock.

Chairman Kim Jong Un and President Donald Trump’s boys trip in Hanoi seems off to a good start. They ate chocolate lava cake and shrimp, and will get to discussing denuclearization in North Korea, among other matters of state, after they decide who is the coolest guy of all time. Trump says it’s Kim, and Kim also says it’s Kim. The chairman, a totalitarian autocrat who treats human rights like the only bad idea at a “no bad ideas” meeting, is the person Trump has to sway, and so far, pure flattery has been his main tack.

Here are the standouts from the summit so far:

Merch, baby

There will be merch at the end of the world. Or at least there was merch at the summit. This week in Hanoi, one can buy a T-shirt that features the faces of both leaders in 2-D or cartoon, alongside the word “PEACE.” NPR also reports that some hairstylists were offering cuts in either man’s distinctive style.

The Chairman’s choo-choo

Kim chose to take to the rails from Pyongyang to Hanoi, a long multi-day journey. According to The New York Times, the rail resembles the train that his grandfather took last time a North Korean leader made a trip south over 50 years ago (and saved him from having to borrow a Chinese plane to make the trip again). It’s heavily armored at the expense of speed, so it took nearly 65-hours to traverse the whole of China.

The smoke break smelled ’round the world

When he landed in China’s Nanning station, the North Korean leader de-trained for a smoke break, which was caught on Chinese hidden camera. He ambled around, taking little puffs while a woman, identified as his sister Kim Yo Jong, held an enormous crystal ashtray for him.

Kim is rarely seen in moments like this one, walking about unguarded and un-Photoshopped. Usually interested parties can only encounter him through altered photographs or at highly staged events, like the last bro-cation between Kim and Trump. What can we learn from this rare off-the-cuff moment? That dictators with sorry human-rights records, they’re just like us? They take smoke breaks while their relatives linger to catch the ash that falls from near their lips in a probably expensive dish? I’m not sure, but at the very least, the moment gave us a good lede, courtesy of the Associated Press: “It’s unclear whether North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is going to give up his nukes anytime soon, and the same could probably be said for his cigarettes.”

Kim’s aide did a full sprint to be by his side.

Upon their arrival in Dong Dang, a city on the Vietnam-China border, Kim made his way off the train to greet his greeters. The aide allowed his boss to walk down the runway alone, and then, appearing to have missed his cue, raced after him. Was he doing sports, or is he scared?

Another lackey gets the camera time

Perhaps the most notable thing about the summit so far is where attention back home has been focused. The scheduling of former Trump lackey Michael Cohen’s testimony in front of Congress did not work out in the president’s favor. While Trump and Kim commenced their historic second meeting, Cohen geared up to give his opening statement. While Trump fired off a relatively mellow tweet about the meeting, Cohen was calling the president a “racist” and a “conman.” As Trump and Kim had finished their their shrimp cocktail and chocolate lava cake, Cohen touched on campaign finance violations, contacts with Moscow, and his own bad behavior. Even on Fox News, the homepage was overwhelmed by scareheads seeking to discredit the already discredited lawyer. Over on Twitter—journalists, government officials, and laypeople alike—were locked into the hours-long play-by-play and analysis. The time difference between the U.S. and Vietnam is partly to blame, as is the fact that the dinner wasn’t televised—a real shame. Watching two bobos with inflated senses of self smile at each other over lava cakes would really be something to talk about.

Journalists kicked out of Kim’s hotel

A journalist filing hub was originally set up at the same Hanoi hotel where Kim is staying, but The Washington Post’s observed that the reporters were told to move to another site when the chairman arrived at the hotel. And that wasn’t the only news media upset. At first, American journalists were banned from Trump’s Wednesday night with Chairman Kim. Only Wall Street Journal’s Vivian Salama was eventually allowed to report on the dinner, along with some photojournalists. Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement, “Due to the sensitive nature of the meetings we have limited the pool for the dinner to a smaller group, but ensured that representation of photographers, tv [sic], radio and print Poolers are all in the room. We are continuing to negotiate aspects of this historic summit and will always work to make sure the U.S. media has as much access as possible.”

There are still a few more days left in this summit for Trump to save the world, so stay tuned. It could be important.

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